it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Randomize
