apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
