I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
