So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
