fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
