We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
