You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
