Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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