paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
What changed your mind?
Being sober
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
A+ Viking dick
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
