I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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