I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
