Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
