If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
