Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
