It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
