i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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