yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
