Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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