Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
