Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
