I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
