I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
