The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
