You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
