I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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