Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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