You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
