if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
