He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
