The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
