I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
