Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Randomize