At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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