He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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