There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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