Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
