i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
