I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
