i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
sarcasm needs its own font
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
