Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
