ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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