I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
