walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
do herpes really smell.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
