$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
