Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
