Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
And then he peed in my hair
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