I will die if light touches me.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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