how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We are all done wearing pants today
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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