I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
