We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
