My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
