Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
